I think I might actually be dead right now

Oh my god. I am so hungover. I think I got like five hours of sleep last night. I am an idiot for drinking those evil Jack and cokes. No more drinking, ever. Oh, my head. Ugh.

The reason I woke up all early is that one of the sticky traps in my apartment finally caught a mouse, and it was making scratching sounds. When I went to investigate I was still a little drunk, so I thought I might have been imagining it, and I just sort of stared at it for a while. It was making little squeaks, and was very small and adorable, like a little field mouse.

So then I had, like, a problem. It hadn't occurred to me that one of the traps might actually work, and that I would have a live sticky mouse to deal with. My friend Poppy (who I went out with last night, so my head is her fault, dammit!) told me that she once caught a mouse on a sticky trap, and she just put it in a bag and threw it down the trash chute. Maybe I could have done that if this thing had turned out to be a big subway rat-type-thing, but this is a tiny mouse. I have looked into its eyes, and it is scared, and I just can't kill it.

My mom and I both have this thing where we are really ridiculously empathetic to animals, so I called her. She suggested that I take it outside and use scissors to cut the trap off from around the mouse, and then let it go. I tried it. It can't be cut out. And I tried to use the scissors and the piece of bark to pry the goop off the trap, but it's a crazy consistency and I couldn't budge it. And in the midst of all that, the mouse toppled over onto its side and now not just its feet and tail are stuck, but its entire side as well. It's just fucked, I guess. But I still can't bring myself to just throw it out, knowing it'll get hit with other people's trash. Who knows if it'll die quickly? I can't stand to think about it suffering, and being all scared and alone like that.

So I left a note for the maintenance guy who lives downstairs to come see me, and maybe he will have a plan. Right now the mouse is sitting in a bag in the hallway, and it keeps making little rustling noises and squeaks, which I am trying to drown out with the TV. Ugh, I just feel really sorry for it, even though it has been responsible for a lot of freaked-out-ness and grossed-out-ness on my part. And now that I have spent time up close and personal with it, I feel that I have memorized mouse physiognomy.

Oh, speaking of physiognomy, we had a nude male model in painting class yesterday. I have never drawn a male model before, so that was interesting. I think I will go take more Advils now. Maybe later on I'll write about my trip to Phoenix.