Five seconds to Yuppiedom

I bought a new cellphone. It is new and shiny and flips open and did I mention new? So new. So flippy. When you flip it open a musical jingle plays, and the lovely splendid full-color screen shows an African savannah-type-scene, and your choice of ringtones includes waltzes and jazz tunes, which play in delicate, twinkly tones. I am in heaven.

I'm sort of shocked by the overwhelming love I feel for this phone. My old phone was the free one that came with my plan, and it was shaped like a brick, with a similar heft, and was very functional and utilitarian and I never gave it much thought. It was just sort of there. Like tap water or kneecaps or ballpoint pens. I did always wish that it was able to sound nicer when it rang. The coolest ring it had was the Mexican Hat Dance, if we define "cool" as "least fucking annoying." But I've had it for two years now, and it's always worked fine.

Also, I don't buy expensive things very often at all. Especially electronics. I only just broke down and got a DVD player about 3 months ago, and you can bet your ass it was the Ghetto McCheapy one. But sometimes, you just gotta say, What the fuck? (tm the best friend in Risky Business) So when the sudden feeling of phone boredom hit, I decided to indulge it and splurge a little.

Best. Move. Evah!

When I got home last night and saw the package sitting in the hall, I swear to god, I got such a rush of glee that I emitted an Ewok-esque squeal and clapped my hands like a little girl. And though I have only had my new phone for half a day, I love love loooooove it. Am so happy with my new useless impulse buy. Am maniacally flipping it open and shut. Am proud to have Done My Bit For The Economy by throwing my money down a wormhole. A wormhole of beautiful shiny flippy colorful twinkly phones! Glee! Overwhelming glee!