The windows are attacking!

I had a nightmare last night! A nightmare! Am I five? Yes. Yes, I am. Mommy, please come look under the bed to check for monsters.

It took place in an Alternate Reality in which I had a crazy luxury apartment that did not have bars on the windows. All ground floor apartments in DC have bars on the windows, even in the nice neighborhoods. Both of them. (Gratuitous DC shot. Hey, "shot!" Tee hee, I made a pun! Shut up.)

Anyway, in my nightmare I HAD a nightmare that someone broke all my windows while I was away at work, and when I got home the blinds were down so I didn't notice. And then (still in the secondary layer of nightmare) I was sitting around one day and someone from the outside just pushed the blinds out of the way, hooked his leg over the windowsill, and came right in, while looking at me the whole time. And I froze, terrified, and then started screaming at him to get out, and he just snickered and then invited all his friends in, and then people looted my apartment as I watched. For some reason I didn't run out the door, I just watched them steal stuff and then leave.

Then, in the dream, I woke up and thought "Wow, that sucked," and went about my day. But later I noticed that the window really was broken! And most of my stuff really was gone! Which meant that what I had thought was a nightmare had actually happened! And I freaked out, because that is some freaky shit right there. I called the cops but they never came, and I waited around for them for hours, and during that period more people broke in and stole stuff. This just went on and on! My apartment had a big gaping hole in it, and I kept calling people to come and fix it and for some reason (in the dream it made sense) nobody would come. Plus the burglars were really scary, and I was constantly braced for one of them to attack me.

So when I woke up for real, I was all tense and exhausted and ready for attack, and I feel awful, like I got about 7 minutes of sleep all night.

I checked the window, and it is in fact not broken, so that is good. What a bad dream! Why am I dreaming in weird meta layers designed to be extra-freaky? I think I took about 5 years off my life last night.