Drink your dinner!

Okay, overnight this has turned into a food blog, but whatever, I had to share. My mom sent me this link to a set of holiday-time-only sodas in Thanksgiving dinner flavors! Yes! How disgusting is this? That's right; pretty damn disgusting.

The flavors are:
Turkey & Gravy Soda
Cranberry Soda
Mashed Potato & Butter
Green Bean Casserole
Fruitcake Soda

Sweet Mary Mother of God! Is nothing holy? This totally reminds me of that classic SNL commercial, which came out right around the time of the Crystal Pepsi launch and was for crystal clear turkey gravy. It was stupendous. Phil Hartman did a voiceover describing how delicious and traditional-tasting the gravy was, but in a "new improved" color: translucent! And then there was a shot of someone pouring this thick, viscous, clear goop over a turkey, while the audience all made gross-out noises. It amazes me just how disgusting it actually looked. There is just something vile about a clear meat product, I suppose.

Also, in her email my mom said that she and my aunt are tired of cooking so we are doing Thanksgiving dinner at a restaurant this year. I am now in a deep depression because this is one of three real home-cooked meals I get a year (the others being Christmas dinner and Passover Seder. I have a complicated family situation, guys). I offered to host Thanksgiving dinner in my studio apartment; such is the degree to which this news has depressed me. So I may need to go out and get those recipe books you guys offered (and thanks very much for those) sooner than I thought...