Plus I think I saw Nicky Hilton

Man, I went to the worst place in DC last night. It was in the GW/Georgetown area, which is bad in and of itself, because once you are out of college who wants to hang out with snot-nosed college kids anymore? I was with some girls I used to work with earlier this year at an art gallery. Another one has gotten a new job too, and it was her idea to go to this Place o' Hell. She was with some coworkers and is really hot for one of them. In the words of the email she sent me, "He is seriously hot and it's been a really long time so I am going to try and jump him tonight." Alrighty then.

It was one of those bars where you pay to get in, and then it is more crowded than Tokyo (so I hear) so you pay to get rid of your coat too. And, oh my god, we could not find this girl (the hot-for-coworker one) for the LONGEST time, and were walking in circles around this ginormous circular bar which looked like Daytona Beach at Spring Break, except that the kids were wearing less clothing than they wear at Daytona.

My friend has long blonde hair and is very tall, so we thought it would be easy to spot her, but HOLY GOD do you know what has happened in the 412 years since I have been at college? ALL COLLEGE GIRLS HAVE TURNED INTO HEIRESSES AND MODELS. Everywhere you looked, blonde blonde blonde, thin and hot and totally polished and no hair out of place. Is college now doubling as America's Next Top Model(tm)? Really, these girls all looked like they have an army of hairstylists and makeup artists at their beck and call, they are so perfectly turned out. When I was in college (in 1912, thankyouverymuch), it was All Study All the Time, except when we would hang out in each others' rooms/apartments and watch Tommy Boy (if you were with guys) or Dirty Dancing (with girls), and the weekends would involve house parties with keg beer in a cup you paid $2 for, or one of the bars "downtown" where you got leered at by some local bikers.

Plus, people were cute, but we weren't going out in clothes we got from BCBG or bebe or anything. Doesn't the whole student stereotype involve having no money and spending your time in seedy locales? Maybe going to college in a big(gish) city is the difference, but it really is odd that a college lifestyle now includes (nay, demands!) professional highlights and enough spare cash for cover charges AND expensive drinks.

Anyway, my point is that Urban College Bars are intimidating. I could have done without a night of being invisible to a zoo of meatheads because I wasn't wearing a tube top and a tiny skirt with my thong showing. And yes, I did find myself frequently thinking "Oh, how could she wear that? It's so cold out tonight." With that, I am officially The Archetypal Mother. Except that I can't cook, so I am useless and need to be put out to pasture. Wow, I am really grumpy and the day has just begun. Bring it on.