Dec 5, 2004

Message left on my answering machine Friday night by my wacky uncle

"Heyyy there, it's your...long-lost uncle. the family manner, we have decided to have a party for our daughter [her two-year birthday party] ...uh...of course it's tomorrow night, so we're giving you like...twenty hours' notice. We're hoping you can come. Your mom! Can come! And your grandma's coming, and a couple of our neighbors...and, that's about it.

"But there'll be lots of festive things and drinking. It starts at 5, and if you can come...please call my mom. Your...oma, or grandma, or whatever you call her, and tell her, cuz maybe you can help with the driving -"


"GOD DAMN IT, NICE MACHINE. Jeez, it's like the guy from Swingers, I'll call you like thirty times, and I never can say my phone number. Do you remember that movie? Anyway, call my mom to tell her whether you're coming, and maybe you can...what's it called... drive with them [grandma and her boyfriend].

Anyway, bye bye."

Crikey, this is the gene pool I share.